It's been a while
I hadn't realized how long it had been since I last posted. I am not sure if anyone even reads this so maybe it doesn't matter that it's been so long. If anyone is actually reading this, I am forewarning you that this will pretty much be a pointless post, mostly self-pitying but hey, at least it's cathartic.
I am so over my job situation. I just don't understand why my boss has to be so hateful and mean to me. This is a good company to work for, but honestly, it's so hard to work in a place where my boss quite obviously doesn't want me there. I met with *her* boss on last week to see about getting transferred to another unit but before she would even consider that, she wants the three of us to have a meeting together to see if we can work this out. That's exactly what I *don't* want. We've been down that road before and it didn't get us anywhere. What's more, although I told her boss that this was a sensitive issue and I wanted to talk with her before she talked with my boss, she went ahead and talked with her first anyway. I am sure she did, because she was sitting at my boss' desk five minutes before I met with her. And the "coaching session" we had just an hour after our meeting was just a little too coincidental. I just feel like there is nobody in a management position there that I can even trust. I know I should just move on and look for another job (which I am sort of doing, half-heartedly-I have like 6 or 7 interview offers too) I am reluctant to, because I love my 4-day schedule, and although I am not making great money, I have been there 5 years so I am not making entr-level income anymore, which is what I am afraid will happen if I do go elsewhere for employment. Hopefully before too long my Arbonne business will be to the pont where that will be replacement income and I can quit and not worry about it but it's not there yet. This stress is really starting to take it's toll on me, physically, emotionally and mentally. I am having panic attacks on almost a daily basis, I haven't slept a full night in several weeks, I am missing a bunch of work because the stress is making me sick. I know I sound very whiny but this really sucks. I know God has a plan and there is a reason this is happening but I wish I knew what it was.
I also got very sad the other day (the 24th, Thanksgiving) because I remembered that is graduation/grade promotion day for the kids at the orphanage and I was sad because I couldn't be there witth them. Isamar was promoted to the 7th grade and I really wanted to be there with her for her day. I don't know when I will be going back. Hopefully in January but I don't know for sure. I just miss the kids so much. And I miss my best friend. I just wish I was in Nicaragua right now because I am so much happier there and everything is so much simpler and less complicated.
I think this enough whining and complaining for one night. Maybe tomorrow I will actually have something deep and insightful to say.
I am so over my job situation. I just don't understand why my boss has to be so hateful and mean to me. This is a good company to work for, but honestly, it's so hard to work in a place where my boss quite obviously doesn't want me there. I met with *her* boss on last week to see about getting transferred to another unit but before she would even consider that, she wants the three of us to have a meeting together to see if we can work this out. That's exactly what I *don't* want. We've been down that road before and it didn't get us anywhere. What's more, although I told her boss that this was a sensitive issue and I wanted to talk with her before she talked with my boss, she went ahead and talked with her first anyway. I am sure she did, because she was sitting at my boss' desk five minutes before I met with her. And the "coaching session" we had just an hour after our meeting was just a little too coincidental. I just feel like there is nobody in a management position there that I can even trust. I know I should just move on and look for another job (which I am sort of doing, half-heartedly-I have like 6 or 7 interview offers too) I am reluctant to, because I love my 4-day schedule, and although I am not making great money, I have been there 5 years so I am not making entr-level income anymore, which is what I am afraid will happen if I do go elsewhere for employment. Hopefully before too long my Arbonne business will be to the pont where that will be replacement income and I can quit and not worry about it but it's not there yet. This stress is really starting to take it's toll on me, physically, emotionally and mentally. I am having panic attacks on almost a daily basis, I haven't slept a full night in several weeks, I am missing a bunch of work because the stress is making me sick. I know I sound very whiny but this really sucks. I know God has a plan and there is a reason this is happening but I wish I knew what it was.
I also got very sad the other day (the 24th, Thanksgiving) because I remembered that is graduation/grade promotion day for the kids at the orphanage and I was sad because I couldn't be there witth them. Isamar was promoted to the 7th grade and I really wanted to be there with her for her day. I don't know when I will be going back. Hopefully in January but I don't know for sure. I just miss the kids so much. And I miss my best friend. I just wish I was in Nicaragua right now because I am so much happier there and everything is so much simpler and less complicated.
I think this enough whining and complaining for one night. Maybe tomorrow I will actually have something deep and insightful to say.
posted by NicaGirl @ 11:21 PM
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