Ugh ...
I am not in a very good place right now. I am a wee bit stressed out. I was supposed to be getting a paycheck tooday, and I am not. I was sick for about a week and a half of work and didn't have enough paid leave to cover it (Thank God I do have FMLA so at least I have the job protection at least, but it was unpaid leave) On top of that, apparently a previous paycheck had been mis-input and didn't reflect sick leave I had taken, so that was also charged against my paycheck, and well, it wiped the whole thing out. This is totally stressful to me because I usually have month left at the end of my money and now it's even double that. when I found out, I didn't know how I was going to pay my bills, refill my prescriptions, renew my car registration and get it inspected (both of which are overdue as it is) and finish buying Christmas presents for my family. I have a little bit of money coming in from my Arbonne business but last month was not a great month so it's not much that will be coming in. This is an especially sucky time to have something like this happen. You know, like "Merry Christmas, we're not paying you"
I am less stressed out than I was last night when I first found out, because I am very blessed to have wonderful friends and an incredible church community who came to the rescue. I will be able to pay the bills now and someone else donated the gifts I wanted to buy for my family, and I found out I don't have an insurance bill due this month, so things are better.
But it's hard for me ... I am not good about asking for help. I hate to do that. I don't think it's really so much of a pride thing, it's more that I feel that there are so many people who have it so much worse than me, so why do I deserve to be helped when they need it more than me. I know that's not a good way to think, because everyone has emergencies come up and situations when they need a little extra help.
I got to talk with Lisseth today and that was awesome! Lisseth is one of the older girls at the orphanage and a really amazing young lady. She's 17 and has lived half her life at the orphanage. Lisseth is responsible for helping take care of the youger boys at the orphanage and she is so great with them. We've gotten to be close friends over my last few visits. She put Isamar on the phone with me and so I got to talk with her too. I told them both I was coming in January so I am sure by now the whole orphanage knows :)
One sad thing I founs out is that Paky, one of the 10-year-old girls from the orphanage, isn't living there anymore. Apparently she went home to visit with her family and decided not to come back (either that or her parents decided not to let her come back, I am nor sure which is the case). :( I am very sad about this, she is such a sweet kid. On my visit in January, Ivonne let me have a sleepover at their home with about 10 of the kids. We all slept in their living room on mattresses on the floor. I ended up being up almost all night with Paky because she had a really bad toothache. She couldn't stop crying because of the pain. She kept apologizing over and over for keeping me up, which was so sweet that she was concerned about that when she was in so much pain. We took her to the dentist the following day and she ended up having to have the tooth pulled. It was just so sad to see her so quiet and sad all day. She is normally a little fireball of energy and all smiles.
It will be sad to not see her anymore at the orphanage when I go back there. I hope she can return someday.
I am less stressed out than I was last night when I first found out, because I am very blessed to have wonderful friends and an incredible church community who came to the rescue. I will be able to pay the bills now and someone else donated the gifts I wanted to buy for my family, and I found out I don't have an insurance bill due this month, so things are better.
But it's hard for me ... I am not good about asking for help. I hate to do that. I don't think it's really so much of a pride thing, it's more that I feel that there are so many people who have it so much worse than me, so why do I deserve to be helped when they need it more than me. I know that's not a good way to think, because everyone has emergencies come up and situations when they need a little extra help.
I got to talk with Lisseth today and that was awesome! Lisseth is one of the older girls at the orphanage and a really amazing young lady. She's 17 and has lived half her life at the orphanage. Lisseth is responsible for helping take care of the youger boys at the orphanage and she is so great with them. We've gotten to be close friends over my last few visits. She put Isamar on the phone with me and so I got to talk with her too. I told them both I was coming in January so I am sure by now the whole orphanage knows :)
One sad thing I founs out is that Paky, one of the 10-year-old girls from the orphanage, isn't living there anymore. Apparently she went home to visit with her family and decided not to come back (either that or her parents decided not to let her come back, I am nor sure which is the case). :( I am very sad about this, she is such a sweet kid. On my visit in January, Ivonne let me have a sleepover at their home with about 10 of the kids. We all slept in their living room on mattresses on the floor. I ended up being up almost all night with Paky because she had a really bad toothache. She couldn't stop crying because of the pain. She kept apologizing over and over for keeping me up, which was so sweet that she was concerned about that when she was in so much pain. We took her to the dentist the following day and she ended up having to have the tooth pulled. It was just so sad to see her so quiet and sad all day. She is normally a little fireball of energy and all smiles.
It will be sad to not see her anymore at the orphanage when I go back there. I hope she can return someday.
posted by NicaGirl @ 5:36 PM
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